Recently, I commented on Mrs. Parunak’s excellent post, A Garden Enclosed: The Importance of Modesty…and Immodesty. In this post, she points out the importance of being immodest for our husbands, allowing them to view and to enjoy their “gardens” (Songs 4:1). As much as I loved what she had to say there, I admit that this can be quite a challenge for me. I asked Mrs. Parunak if she had any advice to give those of us who struggle with our self image and have difficulty revealing ourselves to our spouse. She was kind enough to write another post for me addressing this issue. I am so thankful to her for what she has written – her advice was excellent and I have included a small excerpt below. I would encourage everyone who struggles in this area to read the entire article, found here.
4. Remember that Your Husband Doesn’t Get to Enjoy Anybody Else
Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings. His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins. He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray. -Proverbs 5:15-23
God means for your husband to enjoy you and you alone. Not only is it true that your husband has power over your body, but it is also true that he does not have power over anyone else’s. Your husband must be ravished with you and not with a “strange woman.” That can be tremendously freeing. I’m not competing with Buffy the Bra Model, or the college girl in the produce section. My husband has no right to look at them. If he does, then he is sinning. It’s natural for a woman whose husband does that to feel crushed and compared. But the truth is that life isn’t a beauty pageant. I need to be as beautiful as I can for my husband because I belong to him and because pleasing him pleases the Lord, never because of how anyone else looks who might catch my husband’s eye. The LORD is pondering my husband’s goings. I don’t need to live in fear of another woman’s provoking my husband to lust. I need to be what God created me to be. I am my husband’s cistern. I am his water source. When he is thirsty for a cool drink of sweet femininity he gets to come to me. I am what God thinks he needs, and what God declares to be enough for him. I just need to be joyfully and freely open to satisfying my husband’s thirst.