Beyond Words

I don’t have the words to express all that is in my heart right now.  I am feeling so incredibly loved.  It has been an emotional, hectic week for us and I’ve been so touched by the prayers and actions of family and friends.   Almost a week ago, my husband’s brother suffered a medical emergency that sent him to the hospital with very little chance of survival.  We prayed, friends prayed, clients prayed and miraculously my brother-in-law didn’t just survive – he is expected to make full and complete recovery!  When we found out about what happened, my husband and I started making plans to go out of town to see him and support my mother-in-law.  In order to help, friends cooked meals for us so that we wouldn’t have to worry about food while we were there and volunteered to come out each day to feed and water our animals.  That touched my heart in a huge way, and on our way to my mother-in-laws home, I expressed to my husband how very much I love them.

I think I feel so strongly for them not just because they’re wonderful (and they are!) but also because I was without friends for so long.  When I became a Christian, I lost all of my friends (through no fault of their own, in some cases we simply drifted apart and in some cases I think I scared them away with my Christian immaturity and zealousness.)  I was without any kind of close companionship other than that of my husband for over five years.  Although my husband did have a few close friends during this time, it seemed that no matter how I cried out to God (and I cried out often), He never saw fit to bring a close friend into my life.  After about five years of being completely alone, I found a friend several states away through an online forum, and she filled a huge void in my life.  Still, I cried out for friends closer to home, friends I could wrap my arms around!  Two years later, God brought an amazing woman and her husband into our lives.  After that, He added to our little circle through various means and incredibly, He even brought one of my closest friends back into my life, the man who introduced me to Jesus so many years ago, along with his wife.  This circle of friends has become more important to me than I could ever express in words.  Everything they do, every way in which the express their love for me, I feel it so strongly.  On our way to my mother-in-laws home, I expressed to my husband how grateful I felt for the help my friends gave in getting us prepared for the trip.

If I felt it then, I can’t begin to express how I feel tonight.

When we got home tonight, we found that our friends had left dinner in the crock pot for us and cleaned our living room and kitchen from top to bottom.  They worked on odd jobs around our house that we never seem to get to, fixing locks on the doors, replacing broken light fixtures, washing the walls and the baseboards, and most surprising of all, they replaced our broken refrigerator!  Just before we left, our refrigerator broke down (we’ve seen it coming, for a while now, we were just hoping it would last a LITTLE bit longer!) and while we were gone, two of our friends dug their second refrigerator out of storage (a refrigerator they’ve used in the past, and one I KNOW they were planning to use again when they found a bigger place) and another friend came over with his truck on his birthday to deliver it to our house.

If God wanted to reach down, wrap me in a hug and shout “I love you!” in my ear, He couldn’t have done it any more powerfully than through the hot meal sitting on our counter and the refrigerator sitting in our kitchen… and the phone conversation that helped a very overwhelmed businesswoman feel much better after a night of preparing taxes.  ;)

My heart is full.

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