This may be a completely goofy concept to everyone else, but I’ve always felt kinda bad when I would turn to one friend rather than another for a certain type of support. If one kind of thing happened, I’d find myself reaching for the phone to call my friend Michelle, but if another thing happened, I’d be more likely to dial Manuela’s number. If I needed prayer about this, I’d ask Amy but if I needed prayer about that, I’d sooner talk to Angela. Of all my friends, there are some with whom I share practically everything, and some who almost seem reserved for the really special things. There are some I speak with every day, while with others weeks may lapse between our conversations.
I’ve often felt disloyal to some of my friends because I may not talk with them about everything, or because I’ll choose to mention this to that friend, but that to this friend.
Tonight*, I was pondering the nature of these different types of friendships when it occurred to me that God has placed different people in my life for different reasons. Why do I ask one friend to pray with me about something, but not another? It’s not that some of my friends are more trustworthy, or others less so, it’s that God has knitted my heart together with each of them in a different way. When I find myself in need of prayer or support or companionship, or just someone to share a funny story with, my heart seeks out the one whom God has appointed for that situation, for that need.
I think that for a long time, I’ve been looking at my marriage in a very wrong and unhealthy way. I have expected my husband to meet all of my emotional needs, to be to me all that Michelle and Manuela and Amy and Angela are, all wrapped up in one big “Jon” package. My poor husband! Who could ever meet that kind of expectation? How could he ever be all the things I thought he should be to me?
I am beginning to understand more of what it means to be a “body in Christ.” I’m coming to understand that there is no ONE person out there (including and especially my husband) who will meet all of my needs. God didn’t set me on an island with only my husband for support and companionship, He gave me a network of wonderful people to share my life with.
I’m looking forward to experiencing a deeper kind of friendship with my husband. Rather than expecting him to be what others are for me, I’m looking forward to finding out who HE is to me – loving him for who he is, rather than who I wish him to be, or think he should be. I’m looking forward letting others fill the positions God has given them in my life, rather than expecting my husband to be the hand and the foot and the eye (and the big toe, and the pinky finger, and the third tooth on the bottom left.)
I am SO INCREDIBLY blessed to have the friendships that I have, and so blessed to have not one, but several amazing people in my life to share and laugh and cry with. I’m so blessed to be “knitted together” with such a diverse group of people – so thankful that I have so many people in my life to love, and love me in return. I’m so thankful that God has placed each of them on my heart in a different way.
I have lots of “best” friends.
*I wrote this on 7/20
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