I wasn’t going to post this today, for one thing I’m exhausted, and for another I’ve had a lot on my mind since yesterday. My oldest son had to be taken to the hospital late last night, because he had a bronchial attack and was having difficulty breathing. He had been playing just fine all day, so our initial thought was that he swallowed something, but as it turns out he has croup. He’s okay now, he hasn’t had any more breathing problems and has been resting for most of the day, but there are a lot of things that I’ve been thinking about since then, and I didn’t really feel like posting anything today. However, since I had already typed almost all of this out a few days ago, I thought I might as well post it. If things are quiet over here for a few days, though, it’s just because I’m trying to gather my thoughts.
Jasmine Star recently twittered this wonderful link: Ira Glass on Storytelling. It’s all about the creative process, and the phase that every artist must go through, when his work is mediocre and he knows it. If your doubting yourself and your creative ability, whether through art or music or writing, etc., it’s definitely worth a listen.
PROGRESS PICTURES!!! So far, I’ve lost 75lbs and yesterday we decided to take some “during” pictures. I’m too chicken to share my “before” pictures (wait until there’s an “after” to show… then I’ll be far enough removed from it that it won’t be quite so humiliating), but I did want to share these two:
At one point, that skirt was TOO SMALL for me. In the second picture, my oldest daughter is inside of it with me and we could button and zip it. By the way, on the refrigerator behind me are my “motivational” post-it notes (some state goals I’m looking forward to experiencing, such as “seeing my collar bone” [check!] and some state reasons I want to lose the weight. There are also pictures of me before I gained so much weight, and one picture of me after gaining it. I’ve really been encouraged by having that on the fridge, where I can see it every day.
Speaking of losing weight, one of the most wonderful things about this journey has been the rediscovery of myself. For a long time, I engaged in anorexic tenancies and one of the side effects is that I’ve always had certain points on my body that I measure every now and then. It’s mostly subconscious, I’ll check the size of my wrist by wrapping my fingers around it, or feel for my collar or hip bones without even thinking about it. But lately, it hasn’t been so subconscious anymore, because there have been a few times when I’ve done it and felt something completely different than I ever had before! I’m starting to feel (by touch) the way I used to. And that has been the most AMAZING feeling… in a strange sort of way, I’m starting to recognize myself again. And that has been incredible.
I should be ashamed to admit this, but lately I’ve been hooked on the reality TV show Ice Road Truckers. I’m amazed at the pure genius that goes on in the production of this show. It’s an hour long, devoted to the same handful of truckers driving virtually the same road over and over again and NOTHING EVER HAPPENS. Everything is over-dramatized and a little bit irritating, and yet, there I’ve been for the past few nights, at the edge of my seat the whole time I’m watching it. At the end of every program (and this is what kills me), they’ll give you a glimpse of what is going to happen in the NEXT program. It gets me every single time. Before I know it, it’s midnight and I’ve wasted five hours on the couch watching… well, virtually nothing.
My “get the house in order” (see number 6 and 7, here) project is underway and going rather well! I made the kids a “responsibility chart,” there are six slots for each child (two for each cleaning time of the day, morning, afternoon and night) and every morning they pull their cards from the top slot, do the tasks written on them, and then put the card in the second slot. In the afternoon, they pull the card from the third slot, and when they’ve completed the task, put the card in the fourth slot, and so on. I even made Jon and I a chart and hung it above the kid’s, because I knew that if I did, they wouldn’t let me get away with sitting on the couch reading a book when it was supposed to be cleaning time. It’s been working out pretty well, although the kids room is still a disaster zone. This is mostly because I need to get in there and organize the toys and I just haven’t done it yet. Oh well, baby steps.
Speaking of getting our house in order, the kids have been doing a little interior decorating…