In the Spiritual Realm, there is no Switzerland

Recently, I got an email from a friend expressing concern over some comments I’d made a few weeks ago in our weight loss group, detailing what I’d been eating (I haven’t posted anything like that recently, because to be honest I’ve been too embarrassed to write about what I’ve been eating lately!)  She was concerned that I was falling into some anorexic tenancies and “mental misconceptions” about myself.

My very first thought when I read her email was to laugh.  Anorexia?  If she could see what I’ve been eating lately, anorexia is the LAST thing she’d be worried about!  I’ve been furious with myself over the last week or so, because I haven’t just been overeating, I’ve been eating in ways I haven’t since I first started my weight loss journey.   But the more I think of it, the more I see the similarities of what I’m going through now and what I used to go through.

Anorexia is an eating disorder.  It’s one of three eating disorders (the other two being bulimia and binge eating disorder) that affect perceptions of self-worth and are characterized by a preoccupation with food and weight, obsessive dieting (in the case of anorexia and bulimia) distorted body image, depression and guilt (over food.)

In that sense,  I still struggle very much with an eating eating disorder.  It’s not a constant struggle (for that matter, sometimes it’s not a “struggle” at all – sometimes I just give in!) and it’s not as bad as it’s been in the past, but it has been made very clear to me recently that the demon of addiction/obesity/eating disorder – whatever you want to call it – is still alive and well in my home and my victories, thus far, have only been temporary.

So how do we fight against the demonic?  Prayer?  Well, I’ve been praying a lot lately – praying not only for myself, but for others who hare trying to lose weight.  And in return, Satan has upped his game, and I’m floundering.

Yesterday, I was faced with a bit of a challenge.  I had to tell Bitty’s violin instructor that we weren’t comfortable participating in the Halloween recital coming up in October.  (Hang in here with me, because this does have something to do with my current struggles.)  Jon and I wrestled with this decision for a while… I even tried to convince myself in various ways that it would be okay.  They’re required to dress up and I could put her in a nice dress and call her a princess.  I could even put a spiritual spin on it and say she’s a “daughter of the King.” (1 John 3:1… see, I have a scripture reference and everything!)  But ultimately all my arguments were reduced to a simple question: “What does God want?”  We know that God has convicted us, personally, not to celebrate certain holidays, but does really matter whether Bitty participates in a recital?  I think it does.

In the spiritual realm, there are no neutral zones.  I don’t think there is much in my life that God doesn’t want to be Lord over.  I don’t think there is much He doesn’t want me to hold up to Him and seek out His will about.  What I felt that God showed me today, or rather re-iterated (because this is not the first time I’ve been taught this lesson), is that in every action I take, in every decision I make, I’m serving someone I’m either joining forces with God or with Satan.

Now, I’m not saying that celebrating certain holidays or participating in certain events is sinful for everyone.  Certainly eating an extra slice of cake isn’t a sin for everyone!  But God has revealed things to me personally that lead me to believe that certain things are sinful for me to participate in.  (Romans 14:23)

Each time I indulge in my desire to overeat, each time I reach for that extra piece of cake or second sandwich, I’m serving someone I’m either holding a sword against the demonic, or waving a white flag.  Or worse, I’m holding a sword on their side.

The implications of this, for me, are huge.  Lately, I’ve been doing things that I know aren’t God’s will for me.  Little compromises here and there, or small acts of disobedience (if God asks me to do something, and I don’t, that’s disobedience, too!)  If it’s true (and I believe this is what God is showing me) that every single thing I do serves either God or Satan, and has some type of affect on the spiritual wars I’m waging (prayers I’m praying, etc), then there are a lot of ways I’m fighting for the wrong side.  Remaining passive isn’t an option. 

I once heard a man say that he wants to be a target for the demonic.  He wants to become such a threat that Satan knows him by name and actively seeks to destroy him.  THAT is a stand against the devil!

I don’t think I’m quite there yet, but apparently, I’ve become enough of a threat for Satan to have initiated a massive throwdown on my weight loss journey (gained seven pounds in less than a week… and I don’t attribute any of that to “water weight” or “salt retention”… I’m telling you, it’s been that bad.)  And I’m okay with that.  God just taught me another way to fight back…

By seeking His will and turning toward God by turning away from things that are not His will for my life.  By approaching every situation with the questions foremost in my mind: Will this bring me closer to God?  Is this inside God’s will for my life?  Can I do this to the glory of God? Because if not, it will ultimately work to serve the devil.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”  – 1 Cor 10:31


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A Post I’ve Been Putting Off

For Those Struggling to Lose Weight, I want you to know…

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4 Responses to In the Spiritual Realm, there is no Switzerland

  1. Patti Milam says:

    Rina, You are an amazing woman. Are you homeschooling? You are so right in doing what is right for you. As humans, we can’t tell others what to do, we can only witness to them and hope that the Holy spirit will lead them as they read the Bible and understand what His plan for their lives is. I am so glad that you and Brandi reconnected. Her pics are wonderful. My other daughter Amber has been through a lot in the last 3 yrs, but is now back in school and is doing some photograpy. After her years as a model, she learned a lot about photography and loved it. Her agent actually wanted her to do tests on the other models in her spare time. I told her to go on your site and check it out.

    • Rina says:

      Patti, thank you for your kind and encouraging words. We do homeschool our kids and are very thankful that we’re in a position to be able to do so. I am SO GLAD Brandi and I reconnected, also! I have to say that I read your posts on Brandi’s facebook page, also. I find myself wondering what kind of person you must be, to have raised a daughter who is such a great person and has such an incredible marriage. That’s the nice thing about facebook, I guess… you can eavesdrop in other people’s lives and it’s not considered “eavesdropping!” (haha, you might re-consider your friend request now! LOL) Thank you for recommending me to your daughter, also. I’d love to “talk shop” with her some time!

  2. Patti Milam says:

    Rina, I know the position you are in as far as the Halloween concert. We have dealt with this for years. It finally came down to, if someone calls it Harvest Fest, that is one thing, but Halloween, uh uh. One major thing that I have a hard time understanding is why people would let their children watch Harry Potter. The Bible strictly speaks abt it in several places:One is 2 Chronicles 33:6
    And he caused his children to pass through the fire in the valley of the son of Hinnom: also he observed times, and used enchantments, and used witchcraft, and dealt with a familiar spirit, and with wizards: he wrought much evil in the sight of the Lord, to provoke him to anger.
    When Amber was small, our children’s pastor had a class for the parents abt music and how it affected our children’s minds. She also brought the wizardry, witchcraft, etc. into it. With what we have been through with Amber, I see the change in her from wshen she is listening to Christian music versus today’s music. She had a spiritual cleansing last year and one of the things she had to put away (among a lot of others) was the fact that she had watched vampire movies, etc. She never had much desire to watch Harry Potter, but the new vampire moveis had just come out. Doors can be opened by things like this and people don’t understand that if they have never been exposed to the spiritual realm. We are visiting a church that has been in revival for 10 wks. There have been such signs and wonders, healings and deliverances that it is unreal. I will pray for you as a mother and wife and please do the same for me. There are so many things that if I had them to do over I would , but as in your other blog, I can’t change them, but I do have His grace to get me through.

    Patti Milam

    • Rina says:

      Patti, thank you so much for your prayers! It’s tough to navigate all these things… especially as the children get older and want to be invovled in more things. I can’t say what is right for everyone else, but we try to follow God’s lead in what we feel is right for us and our family. I appreciate your prayers.

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