I’m a Disappointment to a lot of People

I don’t think we measure up to a lot of people’s expectations.  When people meet us, they see a family with six kids, the girls all in dresses and headcoverings, my husband with a beard and tassels, and they probably think we’re incredibly extreme in our faith.  For some, this is a put-off and they don’t want anything to do with us.  For others, this is exciting and they think we must be part of some extreme Christian group and they want to know what we’re all about.  Some people, when they find out we don’t celebrate Christmas or Easter, are repulsed by our legalism, and others, when they find out we keep the Old Testament commandments, are put off by the fact that we are lenient in our interpretation and application of them.  Some people think we’re lost because we believe that God speaks to us and that the gifts of the Holy Spirit are still in operation today.  Others think we’re lost because we don’t believe that people have to know who Jesus is (according to who we think He is) in order to be saved.  Some people think we shouldn’t even say the name “Jesus” or the word “God,” and others think it’s ridiculous that we won’t display the cross in our home, or wear it around our necks.   Some people think I go too far with the modesty, because I don’t wear short sleeves or pants (except when I run and go on photo shoots.)  Others think I’m immodest because I wear makeup and jewelry (and wear pants and short sleeves when I run and go on photo shoots!!!)  Some people think we’re not good stewards/environmentalists because we use don’t use washcloths instead of toilet paper or have a garden.  Some think we take stewardship too far because we tithe.  And when I ran my 10k on Saturday, I’m sure there were a few Saturday Sabbath keepers raising more than one eyebrow.

I’ve long struggled with the tendency to adopt other people’s convictions and make them my own.  For a long time, I have assumed that if God is telling someone else to do something (or not do something), He must also be telling me to do it (or not do it.)  For a long time, I’ve imitated other people’s relationships with God, rather than discovering His will for me.  For too long, I’ve doubted myself and the still, small voice of God telling me to go right when everyone I looked up to and admired around me was going left.  The truth is that we all have a special, individual relationship with God.  I’m not a bad wife because I don’t cook often (or well), and I’m not a bad mother because I have hobbies and interests outside of the home.  I’m not a legalist because I keep Torah or a liberal because I run on the Sabbath.  I’m not immodest because I don’t wear a headcovering all the time, and I’m not a prude because I won’t wear shorts.  I’m just a girl who loves Jesus, and I have a relationship with God/Yahweh/Jesus/Yeshua/The Holy Spirit/The Ruach HaKodesh that is unlike the relationship He has with anyone else.  I’m following the still, small voice that is directing my life.

I’m a disappointment to a lot of people.  And for that, I’m thankful.


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8 Responses to I’m a Disappointment to a lot of People

  1. Tracey says:

    Rina, you’re singing my song, lol……

  2. Michelle says:

    Virtual high-five! ha ha…

  3. Mrs. Parunak says:

    Good thoughts. I think I’m a pretty major disappointment to a lot of people, too. I think human beings tend to find safety in numbers. It can be disconcerting to trust both that the Lord will lead other people and that He is leading us when we see other believers who don’t fit our mold. But God is big enough to handle all His children, and we are each responsible to do what He has revealed to us.

  4. Patti Milam says:

    I don’t in any way think you are a dissappointment. I have come to love the wonderful person you are, who stands for what she believes in. I don’t always agree with you, but I know we have one thing in common. We both love Jesus intensely. I am not caught up in legalism. The pharisees were religious. Religion is what killed Jesus Christ, so I want no part of religion. Thank God I attend 2 churches who feel the same. Hillview Heights and BGFA. All the rules most churches follow are man made, I’m God made so they don’t fit in the mold for me. As far as following the 10 commandments, Jesus said He came so we don’t have to do that. We don’t follow the Mosaic law anymore. He said if you hate someone you’ve broken the “Thou shalt not Kill”, if you lust after soneome, you’ve broken the “Thou shalt not commit adultery”. For each one He gave a reason we can’t follow them. I am a sinner, thank Jesus for His grace and the fact that He died so I don’t have to. If we could follow the 10 commandments, there would have been no reason for Jesus’ sacrifice. We truly can’t earn our way to Heaven.
    You have 6 beautiful children and I know that when you pass from this world, the one thing you want them to remember of you is not what you gave them, not how many times you disciplined them, but that you were a godly woman.That is the one thing I pray for as far as my children are concerned.

    I love you, my sister Rina

    • Rina says:

      You know, being a “disappointment” isn’t a bad thing! I think we all disappoint people in one way or another because, as Andrea said, there is safety in numbers and it’s not always considered admirable to go against the pack. Thank you for your encouragement as always, Patti. :)

  5. Liz says:

    You are doing what God has convicted you to do. That’s all that matters! Love you!

  6. Pingback: Where DO I Get My Energy??? | Rina Marie

  7. NarrowWayFarm says:

    Interesting. I could identify with at least 2/3 of what you wrote, but I’ve never thought that I was disappointing anyone. I do know that people think that we are weird… but I prefer the word peculiar. :)