I’m an emotional wreck right now. For months, God has been doing some amazing things in our lives that have left me in awe. Over the past year, we have been dealing with some financial situations in our family that aren’t typical for us. We have the kids involved in activities they’ve never been in before, a new baby on the way and other things that just aren’t ordinarily within our budget (which is usually tight, anyway) that have made things more difficult for us than they have been, in the past. Yet, in the midst of all this, God has been blessing us, not with things that we NEED, but with things we’ve been WANTING but didn’t think we could DO. It’s really been a strange sort of outpouring, and until recently, most of it didn’t touch the mountain of things on our “needs” list – only things that we’ve had in the back of our heads as things we’d like to do “some day” (put in a garden and raise chickens, for instance, and buy a trundle bed for the girls room.) And the crazy thing is that this has been going on for MONTHS.
Not long ago, my husband was joking with a friend of ours and telling him that he feels like God has been doing everything backwards. Jon kept looking at our mountain of needs, and seeing God taking care of our mountain of wants, and he couldn’t help but feel that God was blessing us with the wrong things!!! But both Jon and I felt, overwhelmingly, that God was taking us through a period where he was saying to us “this is a time for me to BLESS you. That mountain of needs over there? I have it under control. Right now, I want to give you the desires of your heart.”
So for months now, we’ve … I don’t want to use the word struggle … we’ve worked to put money aside for the things that we need (with somewhat slow progress), while God has been providing over and over again for things we’ve wanted… both of us being convinced that God would take care of our needs in His own time.
And then, this month… the month our baby is due and music lessons start up and everything was coming to a head, God has blessed us in WAVES and all of the sudden – as of TODAY – the biggest “needs” on our list have been completely met and we have the money, supplies, and resources for everything that we’ve been working so hard to take care of. And it’s been the combined blessings from many different sources that have done it – everything from friends giving or loaning us baby supplies (or blessing us with the money to buy them), things we needed for our music lesson days, clothing for the kids so we didn’t have to buy it and finding amazing co-ops and sales that enabled us to purchase things we needed at ridiculous discounts … to my husband getting more work this month than he’s ever had before … to having several photography sessions in a row, (one of whom actually paid us more than they should have) … to being blessed with music scholarships for all three girls …and finally to a family member who sent us the rest of the money we needed to pay off the last of what we had to take care of before the baby is born (to the exact amount – without knowing what it was!)
So now I’m sitting here at the computer, in tears, marveling at the awesomeness of God – who not only promises to meet all of our needs, but also gives us the desires of our heart.
I am so very, very overwhelmed and thankful.