I was reminded today that I never did get around to posting the rest of my experiences during my 30-day’s without sugar (which ended up lasting much longer, and I would have liked to have been permanent but we went through nine different kinds of crazy a few months back, and I started eating processed foods again purely for the sake of convenience. Which turned out to be very inconvenient when I discovered how hard it would be to go back to not eating sugar… repeat that whole withdraw process again? I haven’t been able to face it just yet.)
Anyway, here is week two, which was much worse than week one, but don’t let this week’s entry scare you. It got much, much better by week three, I promise! More on that next week (if I remember to post it, that is.)
If you missed week one and want to read about it, or have no idea why I would do such a crazy thing and want to find out, click Here.
Week Two (May 8-14)
Day 8 – Last night, I made a chicken dish I thought I would really like with cream cheese and mozzarella…. and it was awful. I couldn’t even finish it all. I’ve also stopped putting full cream in my granola at night, and some nights I don’t even eat it. Maybe I don’t feel the need for so much fat anymore, now that my body is getting used to this new way of eating? Wasn’t very hungry for breakfast this morning, either, so I had a banana and some tea. Had a dream last night that Jon bought me cookies for Mothers day. I totally ate them all. It was a lovely dream.
(later that afternoon) – Never mind everything I said this morning – (except for the part about eating all the cookies – HA!) Just devoured two hamburgers with cheese (sans bread) and a bowl of oatmeal and still don’t feel settled. Not sure exactly what it is I’m wanting… I feel ready to crawl out of my skin for something. (Um… could it be…. sugar? Just a wild guess.) This is the first time withdraw (if we want to call it that) has felt physical rather than mental.
Day 9 – Feeling really irritable today. I’m angry because I feel like I don’t have any method of coping with stress anymore. Today has been a looooong day, and I haven’t been getting much sleep (mostly because I feel good – go figure) and all I want to do is curl up in the bed with a box of cookies, chow down, and take a nap. This may seem like a strange question for those of you who’ve never been addicted to anything before, but I find myself wondering what I’m supposed to do now when I have a stressful day? I don’t think I ever realized just how much I depended on food to make me feel better. Maybe I should take up drinking.
Tonight when Jon got off work, I sent him to the store with the following instructions: “If you see anything there that doesn’t have sugar in it, and I haven’t eaten it before, I want that.” He also bought me ice, so I’d have something to chew on when I feel munchie. Today has probably been the hardest day yet.
Day 10 – Remember the rats who stopped eating after they were deprived of sugar? That’s how I’m feeling right about now. Nothing sounds remotely palatable to me (except chocolate cake…. and doughnuts… and oreo cookies…) I’m miserable. Had another food dream last night. Two memories stuck with me when I woke up this morning. In one part of the dream, I was pigging out on some wonderful sugary something and it was lovely. In another part, I was eating an apple and thinking “what is this? This isn’t food!” That, my friends, sums up exactly how I’m feeling right now.
(later that night) – this morning started out rocky, but ended well. At least, I didn’t feel the need to go digging through the trash for some long-forgotten remnant of snickers bar. Then again, I didn’t eat any apples, either.
I think about food ALL. THE. TIME. I think about it when I wake up, I think about it when I go to bed, I think about it 20 seconds after finishing the last bite of a meal… I dream about it, for goodness sakes. I never thought about food half as much while I was freely indulging myself on chocolate as I do now that I’m reduced to the middle four food groups.
Eating is so strange these days. I finish my meal and feel like I haven’t eaten anything at ALL. I mean, my stomach is full, sometimes very full. But I keep walking back to the refrigerator again and again, feeling the need for something (and we all know what that something is.) It’s very frustrating. I just want to eat something satisfying!
Funny, I just sat down to write the exact same thing I wrote yesterday. All day, every time I’ve finished a meal, I’ve felt like I haven’t eaten anything at all. There is only one exception to this, and that’s when I eat oatmeal with bananas and raisins with cream or half and half. I ate three bowls of that today. (SO embarrassing! But I’m determined to be truthful about this experience!) Interestingly enough, I got super dizzy again today. I ate a huge breakfast and then around 1:00, the room started to spin. I need to ask Jon about this, because I’ve assumed this type of thing is due to low blood sugar, but maybe it’s just a hunger issue? Or maybe I had too much protein for breakfast (eggs, mushrooms, cheese) and not enough carbs???
Do a quick google search: “is sugar addicting”
Now do one: “is fat addicting”
Now: “are carbohydrates addicting”
Now: “is salt addicting”
Know what you’ll find? They’re all considered “addicting” with studies to prove it. So I guess the takeaway is moderation. After all, you can’t stop eating sugar, fat and carbohydrates. But it does make me wonder if moderation isn’t easier when these four substances aren’t combined. For instance, I never find myself gorging on plain oatmeal. But add cream (fat), raisins and bananas (sugar,) and I’ll eat three bowls, like I did yesterday. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten chicken without salt (ew) or potatoes without some form of fat (butter, sour cream) or even salad without fat (chicken, olives, cheese) and salt/sugar (dressing.) I’m not ready to start eating plain oats or saltless chicken yet, but it’s something to think about. I definitely feel as if I’ve substituted high sugar for high fat, and that’s not a good thing. I need to find balance.