Sometimes love is messy

026 house

this is what my house looks like, right now.


I don’t have it all together. I’m not always (or even usually) organized, neat, or responsible. We leave dishes in the sink and laundry piled on the beds. We let the kids play in dirt and mud, which they track into our house and all over our carpeted floor with their consistently bare feet. We have goats as pets. These goats give birth in our garage and, on occasion, sleep in our beds. There are tissues everywhere. Used ones. I get allergies fairly often and am incapable of throwing my tissues away. They’re on the night stands, the end tables, the coffee tables, and eventually they pile up and billow onto the floor and we just step right over those puppies and pretend we don’t see them. Except for Jon. They inexplicably drive him crazy, so he frequently makes a trip around the house to clean them up without complaint. That man loves me. And then there’s the family vehicle. Suffice it to say that when we open the doors (by crawling in through the passenger seat, because none of the others work,) food wrappers, hay, and papers billow out like confetti. Once a month or so, I’ll make the kids clean it as punishment for some especially heinous crime. It requires a shovel and several trash bags.

And you know what? That’s okay with me. I mean, it’s embarrassing and creates some awkwardness when people drop by unexpectedly, or need a ride in our van (or even just see us pile out of our van, with the stuff-chasing that ensues.) But over the years, I’ve learned to let these things go in favor of keeping sane. Because whenever I decide that I want one of those highfalutin clean houses and some a’them squeaky-behind-the-ears children, I tend to get overbearing, pushy, irritable, and angry with my junior cohabitants. I suspect it’s that way for a lot of us moms who wear so many hats and juggle so many precious responsibilities.

“Where the stalls are clean, the stable is empty.” (Proverbs 14:4)

Our lives are full.




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This entry was posted in Cleaning/Organizing, Homemaking, Parenting, PERSONAL. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Sometimes love is messy

  1. Emmy says:

    Love! I’m totally trying to not be picky and pushy, insisting that everything always be right…it’s a hard road coming from the opposite direction…I know that my pickyness isn’t good for the family and that if I’d just let them be little and make messes more often i would likely have less stress :)

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  3. Melanie Dinkle says:

    Girl, you rock! You spend time with your kids which will, sooner than not, be gone!
    Clean up when it’s a health hazard and don’t worry about it if it isn’t!!!

  4. Diana says:

    Thank you so much for this. This is a constant struggle for me with three children three years old and under. I am always waffling between doing things with my kiddos and trying to keep the house liveable/where you can walk through it. It is a constant guilt fest. Guilty if I don’t play, guilty if I skip play and clean – ugh. Trying to learn a healthy balance but it’s challenging because I did not learn how to find that balance when growing up. It makes me feel like I’m not doing either thing well because I am continually divided. So I’m trying to be conscious about my choices and then be content with them.

    • Rina says:

      Diana, I HATE guilt. Hate it hate it hate it. Guilt steals all our victories, because just like you said it makes us feel like even the things we do well aren’t being done “well ENOUGH.” That’s one of the reasons I love the momastery blog… she is so good at putting things into perspective and loving herself despite and even because of all of the things guilt would try to tell her she’s doing “wrong.” Thank you so much for your comment, Diana. I’m going to be praying about this guilt thing, for both of us.

  5. A Husband In Virginia With Three Kids and a Cool Wife (aka HVTKCW) says:

    Your husband must REALLY love you to put up with your housekeeping. Even worse than your housekeeping is the fact that someone bothered to call the sheriff on you (as if CPS and government have ever successfully raised children with their policies). There had to be hungry or abused kids that need CPS intervention at the very moment that they were hounding you, but a messy house, while annoying and potentially divorce-worthy, isn’t a reason to remove kids or even to bother a family.

    • Rina says:

      Oh yes, he does! And I agree, of course, but I also think it goes to show how much us moms need to stick together and love each other… because someone CALLED CPS on us, when they could have shown up with a mop and a broom, instead.

  6. Rina says:

    And thank you all SO MUCH for your comments, everyone!!! I think this is such an important conversation to have, and I want this to be a place where we can share without fear, and hopefully come away feeling a little more refreshed and equipped and LOVED and ACCEPTED as we walk this path together!

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