Many months ago, when I was lamenting about our homeschooling method (if you can call a complete lack of structure, continual procrastination, total chaos and disorganization a “method”), a fellow mom said one of the most helpful and hopeful things I’ve ever heard:
You are not horrible. You are what God needs you to be for your kids. I mean, sometimes we need to adapt, learn and grow but did you ever try to stop fighting what is natural for you and just go with it?
That was the most freeing thing I’ve ever been told. Moms, you are what God needs you to be for your kids. You have specific talents and strengths and abilities that are unique to you – given by God to equip you to raise these children – your children. I know there are a thousand ways in which you feel you’re doing things wrong, a thousand ways you feel you don’t “measure up,” but the the truth is that there are a thousand ways in which you’re doing things right that are unique to you and your children and the people that God loves with His whole heart, right there in your home.
You may be a horrible history teacher, but your kids excel in art and science (or vice versa.) You may never get down the floor to play cars or dolls with your children, but you’re out there for every single soccer game, cheering them the loudest (or vice versa.) You may never feed them meals from scratch, but you stay up till midnight hand sewing the ballet costume for the dance recital (or vice versa.) And I know you get impatient and snippy and nag and yell and say things you don’t mean because we all do. But we also let our kids know in a hundred different ways that we love them.
Your kids are going to grow up lacking in some things and excelling in others because you are their mom. They’re going to have strengths and weaknesses just like you do. We can’t all be great at everything. We’re not supposed to be great at “everything.” And it may be that those things you consider “weakness” and all those things you think you’re doing “wrong” are the very things that are going to ensure that your kids are the kinds of unique, amazing people that God wants them to be. Your kids will grow up to be a little bit awkward or irritating or terrible at mathematics or ignorant about cooking or computer programming or fixing their own vehicles. They’re also going to find the cure for cancer, become the next government officials, compose beautiful music, cook delicious food, enjoy nature with their whole hearts, do great missionary work and pass on their own set of unique, amazing skills to the next generation because you were raising them. You. With all your strengths and weaknesses, faults and virtues, successes and failures, holding tight to Jesus as you navigate these torrential waters of parenthood.
You are not horrible. You are what God needs you to be for your kids.