Today I applied for a temporary position at Amazon answering phones and helping with orders from home. It will be interesting to see if I get it (ie. how desperately do they need help?!) If so, it will the first job I’ve had in over 13 years that doesn’t feature me as my own boss, which made resume writing a little tricky. I listed my photography work and two jobs from about 14 years ago that I thought might make me look good. And this:
Job Title: Educator, Event Coordinator, Meal Planner, Janitor, Life Coach
– Leading a group of 8 children through a series of daily activities to ensure proper mental, physical, social and spiritual development.
– Designing curriculum and implementing daily lesson plans for grades K-8, administering tests and evaluations, analyzing student performance.
– Designing and leading weekly arts and crafts activities.
– Conducting group and one-on-one math, reading and writing activities.
– Menu planning and preparation of a variety of foods; meat, seafood, poultry,
vegetable, and cold food items that will satisfy a wide range of palates.
– Maintaining mediocre standards of cleanliness throughout house and yard.
– Small-gadget repair: Stuck zippers, battery replacement, and toilets stuffed with sanitary napkins.
– My oldest daughters have successfully started their own business.
– My oldest sons are currently working toward self-employment.
– They’re all still alive.
Here’s hoping the folks at Amazon have a good sense of humor! (And will forgive the fact that I completely bombed that simulated customer service call. I mean, really, who hangs up the phone and then remembers what they were talking about? A summary of everything I just spent two minutes listening to and working on? Huh?! That phone call’s over, baby, my brain has moved on. These people need to lower their standards if they expect me to be part of their team. I mean, really. How is anybody ever supposed to get work these days?)