The part that loves Him well


It’s been an emotional week around here.  I want to share what has been going on, I want to invite you into my mind and my heart and my home and describe what has been happening, but I can’t find the words.  I feel like last week took place one hundred years ago and everything has changed since then.  That sounds idealistic and melodramatic, but it’s true.  My children are also feeling it.  My three oldest daughters each had dreams about caring for orphans last night and my first-born told me that when she woke from her dream, God spoke to her saying: “this is your life’s work.”  I get chills thinking about it.  I’m just not sure how to talk about it.  But I wrote these words in the comments section, and I wanted to share them with you here.  It is the cry of my heart:

I am not unafraid.
I am not brave.
I stand before Jesus,
A coward.
Praying that He will raise up in me a holy passion. 

That He will do whatever it takes to make me brave.
That He will do whatever He must to bring me to the place
Where I count my life as nothing
And am truly willing to lay it down for Him.

It is a frightening prayer
I can only pray with half my heart,
But I speak the words,
Confident that Jesus will honor the cry
Of the part of me that loves Him well.

My husband has been going through an awakening of his own.  He was able to find words to share:

Build Walls, Guard them, Eliminate any threat from the Orphans and the Widows


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