When you’re a homeschool mom with lots of kids, people tend to think you must be some kind of Mommy Superhero. “I don’t know how you do it all” is a phrase I hear frequently. As much as I hate to disillusion anyone who thinks so highly of me, here are a few fun facebook shares and happenings from August (and the beginning of September) that should serve to knock me off any and every pedestal….
I got lost on my way to church last week. Nevermind the fact that I’ve been to this church numerous times and there are only TWO (well, maybe three, I obviously can’t remember) turns to get there, I still somehow managed to get lost and spent 30 minutes driving around town in my efforts to find it. When I got home, I created this handy flowchart for anyone thinking of inviting me for a visit or event. Save this in your files and if you’d like my company on any given day, just take a peek to see whether I’ll make it on time (or at all) and plan accordingly:
My children apparently take after me in the kitchen. They recently got together to make a cheesecake for Daddy’s birthday. I’ve heard of sugar free cheesecake and I’ve heard of crustless cheesecake, but I’ve never – UNTIL NOW! – heard of cheeseless cheesecake. I present to you….
Real life conversation with my daughter this afternoon:
Bundle (to me): “The google logo is really cool today! It’s got pictures of people making things and building things.”
Me: (in my head): I wonder why google is featuring people working? I wonder if some big building is going up or some big project is happening that I don’t know about?
Bundle (to her sister): “It’s really cool, come see it! They changed it for labor day!”
My child is officially more intelligent than I am.
Lessons in innovation:
When you need to know how much your goat weighs, but you don’t have a scale, you use your livestock measuring tape (which shows weight instead of inches.)
When you can’t find your livestock tape, you pull up a chart to show the conversion from inches and use flexible sewing tape.
When you can’t find your sewing tape, you use rope to take the measurement and hold it against a carpenters measuring tape.
When you can’t find a piece of rope, you use baling twine.
When you can’t find your measuring tape, you go get Daddy’s.
In our house, innovation doesn’t need to be taught, it’s the air we breathe due to our frequent habit of leaving things where we last used them and lack of organizational skills. I’ve decided this is a good thing and am embracing it as part of our homeschooling milieu.
While helping me find my shoes for the 1,385th time, I overheard my son say to my husband: “We need a body camera for Momma. Then we could watch it to see where she puts everything.”
This is the reason I can’t remember anything. My brain has been turned to mush….
Conversations at my house…
Child 1: “Are we going somewhere?”
Child 2: “Where are we going?”
Child 1: “When are we leaving?”
Child 4: “Where are we going?”
Child 5: “Is everyone going?”
Child 6: “Did you say we’re leaving?”
Child 3: “Where are we going?”
Child 2: “Who is going?”
Child 6: “Do I get to go?”
Child 3: “When are we leaving?”
Child 5: Where are we going?
Child 4: “Who’s gonna go?”
Child 6: “Where are we going?”
Child 1: “Can I go?”
Child 6: “What time are we leaving?”
Child 7: “Why are we going?”
Child 2: “When are we going?”
Child 3: “Are we all going?”
Child 7: “Where are we going?”
Child 8: “Go? Go?”
And then of course, there’s this, which I already blogged about, but is worth reposting:
If your name is Lilly and I’m supposed to be doing something with you tomorrow at 2:00, please contact me.
(Thanks to the help of a friend, I did eventually figure out who Lilly was and what my 2:00 appointment was for. It was for a job interview I’d already done the following week, just written down for the wrong day.)