Several weeks ago, I had a dream in which a man in shadows forced his hand over my mouth, slammed shut the door through which I was trying to exit and shouted in a booming, terrifying voice: “You’re WRONG!” I woke up screaming, shaking and on the verge of tears. Then I heard, almost audibly: “It’s because of the books you’re reading.”
That night, before I’d fallen asleep, I’d been reading a book by Sue Monk Kid called The Dance of the Dissonant Daughter. In the book, she talks about the story of the labyrinth and has this to say about the Minotaur at the center of the labyrinth:
“In the female psyche the Minotaur represents negative, uncivilized, masculine power… The Minotaur is the bullish, bullying, bulldozing force of patriarchy internalized in the cellar of a woman’s psyche. It is a presence that works invisibly, hampering, limiting, driving, even destroying a woman’s inner and outer life. Sylvia Plath’s diary describes graphic battles with the Minotaur whom she described as an ‘inner voice,’ a ‘demon of negation.’ He would seize her, saying, ‘Oh, you can’t teach, can’t do anything. Can’t write. Can’t think.’ He robbed her of confidence, froze her into a ‘quivering jelly,’ pressured her to run away from tasks where she would be fallible and flawed.”
Not too hard to interpret the meaning of that particular dream! I love how Plath describes how she mobilized herself to battle the Minotaur, the inner critic:
“I cannot ignore this murderous self: it is there. I smell it and feel it… When it says: you shall not sleep, you cannot teach, I shall go on anyway, knocking its nose in. Its biggest weapon is and has been the image of myself as a perfect success: in writing, teaching and living…. My demon of negation will tempt me day by day, and I’ll fight it, as something other than my essential self, which I am fighting to save.”
Anne Lamott says that all we really have to offer the world are our stories, our visions, our memories, our songs, and our truths. She says that sharing ourselves – our true selves – with each other is the reason we were born.
“When the story of earth is told, all that will be remembered is the truth we exchanged. The vulnerable moments. The terrifying risk of love and the care we took to cultivate it. And all the rest, the distracting noises of insecurity and the flattery and the flashbulbs will flicker out like a turned-off television.”
– Don Miller, Scary Close